Double Couple!
by crocious
Summary: Prussia and Hungary have fallen into a rut in their relationship. They need adventure. They need excitement. They need a marvelous bet to see which one can find their perfect Double Date Couple!
1. It begins

**This is new for you. You should feel honored. I guarantee you have never seen me in a romantic mood before. I simply can't remember the last time I honestly didn't want to throw up at the thought of mushy crap. I don't know why I'm in a romantic mood, I just wanted to immortalize it. So here's a story for you! Don't forget to read my note at the bottom for further instructions. I will meet you at the rendezvous point in 1000 words.**

_This is an awesome idea_, Prussia thought to himself as he hid behind the kitchen counter. _There's no way she's expecting this!_

The albino slowly held the mirror out behind the counter to check out his girlfriend. _Good_, he thought. _Liz isn't looking!_

Hungary was making dinner, in fact. Goulash. Prussia's mouth watered as the scent molested his mouth. _Oh dear GOD that woman can cook._

Hungary started humming happily to herself as she added the browned meat and Prussia grinned. He silently rolled into the kitchen and crawled, slowly, to his girlfriend. He stood up deliberately and tried not to snicker as he brandished his neon red water gun. He pointed it at Hungary's head.

"Any last-"

"AUGH!" Hungary screamed and slammed Prussia's face with the frying pan.

"AUGH!" Prussia cried out stumbling to the floor. "Augh, ow! Fuck! What the hell!"

Hungary held her chest, panting. "You scared me, asshole! Don't do that!"

"You _hit me with a frying pan_, asshole! _VerDAMMT_, that hurts!"

"You know not to sneak up on me like that," Hungary yelled.

Prussia stood up and rubbed his chin, wincing. "Who the hell else could it possibly be?"

"I dunno, an intruder!"

Prussia looked more upset by that than by the frying pan. "An _intruder_? The hell, Liz! You know I protect this fortress like a boss!"

"Stop calling our house a fortress," Hungary growled. "And your idea of protection is booby-trapping the doors."

"Has it failed yet?"

"I'm just waiting," Hungary said, rolling her eyes.

"Ouch," Prussia grumbled. "At least apologize for hitting me with cookware so I can awesomely forgive you and we can have awesome makeup sex on the table."

"Do you need something?" Hungary asked, thoroughly annoyed.

"I'm boooooored," Prussia whined. He sat on the table and swung his legs back and forth.

"You are a ridiculous man-child," Hungary sighed.

Prussia puffed out his cheeks. "Entertain me!"

"I'm cooking."

"So do it more entertainingly!"

Hungary sighed and stirred the goulash around. "I'm not cooking naked again, Gilbert. I was drunk."

"So let's get drunk!"

"Don't you have anything better to do than bother me?"

Prussia mocked offense. "My dearest PMSing psycho Hungarian, what on this good earth could possibly be better than bothering you?"

"I'm gonna hit you again."

Prussia sighed and squirted the water gun into his mouth. "Seriously, though. I'm bored."

"So call Francis and Toni," Hungary said, getting two bowls from the cupboard.

"Noooo, I wanna be with you!"

Hungary gave him a weird look. "You're gay."

"Logic doesn't exist in Hungary, does it?"

Hungary set the bowls onto the table and sighed. Prussia pulled her into his lap.

"Let's go out tonight."

"I'm already in my sweatpants, Gil."

"So take them off, mess around with me, put on that slinky black dress I love and come clubbing. Or dancing. Or a movie, I hear that awesome new horror is out! But definitely the slinky black dress."

Hungary kissed Prussia chastely on the lips. "Maybe tomorrow. I'm just not feeling it tonight."

Prussia pouted and sat down with Hungary to eat dinner.

…

Hungary tried to focus on her book as she lay in bed, but she couldn't for some reason. She looked over at Prussia, snoring softly into the pillow. He kicked a little and she smiled.

"I love you," she whispered.

Prussia rolled over onto his stomach.

Suddenly, Hungary frowned. Now _she_ was bored. Not just reading the stupid book Austria had given her for Christmas. That was a given. No one cares about Mozart. But suddenly, every little boring moment she'd had in the past month slammed her like a desperate child whining for attention with a chainsaw.

She panicked and shook her boyfriend awake. "Gil. Gil, wake up. Gil!"

Prussia stirred and buried his head deep in his pillow.

Hungary slammed her book onto Prussia's head and he yelped and bolted up.

"Oh, baby," Hungary smiled. "You're up. We need to talk."

Prussia rubbed his head. "Don't say things like that unless you want to freak me out."

"I always want to freak you out," Hungary said. "I'm bored."

"Wow. I am so glad you woke me up to tell me that."

"Gil, I'm serious!"

"Me too!" Prussia said. "What would I ever do without that valuable piece of information? Wait, don't move- I'm gonna call Indiana Jones. This could be the key to finding the lost aw screw it. I'm too tired for sarcasm right now."

Hungary pinched Prussia. "I'm just _bored_. I can't remember the last time I was excited about something we did together."

"That hurts in so many different ways I'm not even going to count."

"It's true!" Hungary said. "I mean, I _love_ you, Gil. I'm just not excited about anything we do."

"Maybe burn the sweatpants," Prussia suggested. "Those little bastards have kept us from going out for the last time!"

"The sweatpants go when the water gun goes."

"NEVER! I love my Gil Gun!"

"I don't just want to go on dates," Hungary said. "I want to be around _people_. Multiple. I feel like our awesomeness needs to be shared."

"So what do you suggest?" Prussia asked.

Hungary's eyes widened and she grinned! "Double dates!"

"Nay."

"Oh, come on!"

Prussia tweaked Hungary's nose. "Liz, I love you, but whenever we're around other couples you always get super competitive. And then you hit me."

Hungary put on her puppy dog eyes. "I promise I won't! It will just be four friends going out together like friends do! No need for couple competition!"

"Who would we even go with?" Prussia sighed.

Hungary smiled. "So yes?"

"Maybe."

"Well, we need to find a couple we both like and can talk to."

"And we can't hate one or the other," Prussia added. "And we have to like doing the same stuff."

"A totally drama-free couple."

"A fun couple who likes suggesting awesome ideas."

"But not to the point of being overbearing and annoying."

"And they have to like drinking with us."

Prussia and Hungary sat and mentally ran through the list of all their friends.

"How many people do we even know?" Hungary asked, dismayed.

"…Not enough."

Hungary's eye glinted playfully and she grinned. Prussia smiled.

"Ah, I LOVE it when you get that look!"

"Okay," Hungary smiled. "How about a bet? First one to find our One True Couple doesn't do chores for a month?"

Prussia poked Hungary in the cheek. "Make it more interesting than that. I don't do chores anyway."

Hungary frowned. "I _know_."

"So if I win, what do I get?"

Hungary thought about it. She sighed.

"Remember what we did for your birthday two years ago?"

Prussia's jaw dropped. "_Yeah_?"

"We'll do that."

Prussia cackled. "Oh, it is SO on! Let's find some friends!"

**Sup, dude? I'm pretty sure on a most of the couples that will appear, but not all. If you have a suggestion, ask me. I'll either ignore you, validate your OTP or go, "Woah! Great idea!"**


	2. Franada

**WOW! I underestimated how much crack you guys like! Oy vey! I'll try to get to as many good ones as I can (within reason) but some of y'all are really off the wall! From now on I'm gonna keep the next chappie a surprise. Just to add spice to our relationship.**

**You can probably tell. I've never seen Alegria. Which is why it's easy to write Prussia and Hungary's reactions. HA!**

The next morning, Hungary and Prussia stared at his phone, mystified.

"Just call him," Hungary said.

"I don't know how these things work!" Prussia exclaimed. "I mean, what am I supposed to say? 'Hey Francis, how are things? Uh huh, cool. Hey, Liz and I were wondering if you and Matt, I dunno, want to go out with us sometime.' See? It sounds weird!"

"That sounds so desperate," Hungary frowned. "Can't you do that without sounding like a nervous teenage girl?"

Prussia pressed his fingers to his lips and giggled, batting his eyes. "Well, gosh, Francis, I just… oh, never mind!"

Hungary smacked Prussia and he laughed.

"This is serious, Gilbert!" Hungary said. "We need to find our One True Couple!"

"Double Couple!"

Hungary rolled her eyes. "We talked about this last night. We're calling them the One True Couple, remember?"

Prussia grinned. "But Double Couple rhymes!"

"No it doesn't!"

Prussia stirred his coffee. "What would we even do with Matt and Francis? Maybe we should just forget it."

"We're not forgetting it," Hungary said. "We need this. Now call him."

Prussia sighed and dialed. He listened to the phone ring twice. Then, a groggy _"…'Allo?"_

"EEP!" Prussia hung up and slammed his phone on the table.

Hungary glared at him. "You could not be more of a teenage girl."

"Shut up! I'm nervous!"

The cell phone began to buzz on the table and Prussia jumped back in terror.

"Answer it!" Hungary said angrily.

Prussia slowly lifted the phone and answered it. "H…Hallo?"

"_Gilbert? Was it you who just called me?"_

Hungary urged him on and Prussia gulped.

"Er… yeah. Hey."

"_What does 'eep' mean in German?"_

Prussia looked at Hungary, panicking. "It! Uh! It means… phone tag! You're it!"

Hungary gave him a thumbs up. "Nice save," she mouthed.

"_Oh! How fun!"_

"Yeah."

"_Well, if that was all…"_

Hungary frantically mimed violently.

"W-wait, Francis!" Prussia stuttered.

"_Oui?"_

Prussia blushed furiously. "U-um, Liz and I were wondering if… you know, if you and Matt aren't busy… maybe we could, um…"

"_Oh! That reminds me! Would you and Elizaveta like to come with Mathieu and me to le Cirque?"_

Prussia stumbled. "R-really? Yeah, actually, that sounds like fun! We'd love to!"

Hungary's eyes widened and she pumped her fist.

"Sure!" Prussia almost laughed in relief. "Yeah, call me tonight with the details! Okay, dude! See you tomorrow! Bye!"

Prussia hung up just as Hungary's victory cry escaped her throat.

"We've got a date! We've got a date! We rule!"

Prussia stood up and pulled Hungary up for their patented victory dance. "We're awesome, baby!"

"We're so awesome!"

…

"The fuck is this?" Prussia whispered to Liz.

They were sitting next to France and Canada in a dark auditorium listening to music that made them feel like they might get molested soon and watching people flexible enough to make them wonder if they already were.

"I thought you said they wanted to go to the circus," Liz whispered.

"My French must be off. I don't even know what this is."

A French man in front of them shushed them angrily. Hungary stuck out her tongue and sat back.

"Are you guys okay?" Canada whispered.

"Yeah," Prussia whispered back. "This is just a little new to us. What is this, exactly?"

"It's _Cirque du Soleil. _Do you like it?"

Prussia watched as a man in clown makeup ran around in a cloud of torn paper. He didn't know why.

"It's… interesting."

Canada smiled and sat back to watch the show.

…

"Wow, that was such a good show!" Canada said as the four walked out of the theatre. "And so _poignant_! Good choice, Francis!"

France laughed and pulled Canada close against the cold. "Yes, one is left with an overwhelming gratitude for youth, _non_? How oppressive time is! How cold!"

"Is that what it was about?" Hungary whispered.

"I… I don't know," Prussia whispered back.

"And Gilbert! Elizaveta!" France threw his arms out flamboyantly. "Thank you so much for coming with us, yes?"

The pair smiled politely. "Of course," Hungary said. "Thank you so much for inviting us!"

"Ah, it is our pleasure entirely! _Mathieu_ and I adore company!"

"It's so great to go out," Canada smiled. "We've been a little cooped up lately."

"Us too," Prussia smiled. "And it's been a while since we've seen something so… intriguing."

France stopped and turned to face him, surprised. "Ah? Gilbert? You were intrigued?"

Prussia was taken aback. "Um… yeah! It was really interesting!"

"_Mon coeur_, it never occurred to me that you may be interested in the finer things in life! Whenever I ask you to the ballet or to the art museum, you call it stupid and run off!"

"Do I? Heh. I didn't… realize."

Hungary chuckled nervously. "No, we _love_ stuff like this! We talk for hours about art!"

Prussia's eyes widened and he squeezed Hungary's hand to shut her up, but it was too late.

"Really?" Canada asked. "No way! What did you think about the conflict between the White Singer and the Black Singer? Because I've seen this show four times and I always get something new out of it!"

Hungary laughed nervously, hoping his was an acceptable answer. But France and Canada smiled at her expectantly. She looked at Prussia for help, but he was covering a smirk and looked like he might start laughing.

"I thought, uh…"

Oppressive expectation.

"Um… I thought the Black Singer was, like… a metaphor…"

"For what?" France asked.

"Uh… you know… for the… degradation of morals in a… shrinking world?"

Prussia snorted and covered it with a cough. Hungary pinched his palm in frustration.

But Canada and France cocked their heads. "Huh," France said. "I never considered _Alegria_ to make any statements beyond that of the immediate soul. Did you, _Mathieu_?"

Hungary panicked. "W-well, it ties in with the youth theme, doesn't it? When you're young you don't really think about how you're affecting the world, but, like, you _are_. Everything you do has an effect on someone else, who, um, goes out and does something that affects someone else. It's a statement to the conjoined arrogance and helplessness of youth."

Prussia looked impressed.

Canada broke into a smile. "Wow! That just puts a whole new level on it! Francis, let's see it again tomorrow!"

France laughed and kissed Canada on the forehead. They walked ahead.

Hungary breathed a sigh of relief and she and Prussia followed. Prussia smirked at her.

"Conjoined arrogance and helplessness of youth?"

"Shut up," Hungary murmured. "You were no help at all."

"You had it covered."

France discreetly put his tongue in Canada's ear and Prussia and Hungary balked.

"They're not our Double Couple, are they?"

"GOD I hope not."

**Thank you so much for reading! Be back soon!**


	3. PolLiet

**This is so fun and easy to write! Rejoice! Rejoice!**

"Alright," Prussia said as he and Hungary walked back into their house. "That was painful. Let's just stop."

"No!" Hungary cried. "We can't give up after just one bad date! We have to keep trying! There's someone out there for us, I just know it!"

"But it's so exhausting!" Prussia whined. "It was so much easier when it was just us!"

"Life isn't easy. Platonic couple love isn't easy. We have to keep trying."

Prussia flopped on the couch. "I hope you have something awesome planned."

Hungary smiled and sat next to him. "Actually, I do. You're going to love our next date."

"Yeah? Who is it?"

…

"Goddammit, _the mall_?"

"It's the ultimate in group dates," Hungary reassured her boyfriend. "The ladies get to bond over shoes and the men get to bond over hating shopping. Besides, Feliks really wanted to meet up here."

Prussia groaned. "I mean, Toris and Feliks great and all, but do you really think they're our Double Couple?"

Hungary kissed him on the nose. "We won't know unless we try. Keep an open mind, okay?"

"Lizzy!" Hungary and Prussia turned to see Poland dragging Lithuania by the wrist. "Lizzy, ohmigawd, it's been _forever_!"

"Feliks!" Hungary squealed, running up to her friend. "Did you get a haircut? It's adorable!"

"Thank you _so_ much! Did you know Tor didn't even notice? Why, Liet? Why?"

Prussia and Lithuania shared a sheepish smile.

"What's up, Toris?"

"Not too much. How about yourself?"

"Can't complain."

Hungary and Poland spotted a sale at a dress shop and they ran in, squealing. Prussia and Lithuania shrugged at each other and followed.

"This is gonna suck, isn't it?" Prussia said.

"At least you and Liz are here. That means I don't have to give my opinion on Feliks' ass as much."

"You guys come here often?" Prussia asked, surprised that he was surprised.

"About every other weekend," Lithuania shrugged. "Feliks is really… persuasive."

Prussia covered his mouth and laughed. "Dude! I kinda want to know, but I also kinda don't!"

Lithuania laughed and they sat down outside the dressing rooms.

…

"Really?" Hungary asked as she zipped up Poland's strapless red dress. "_That's_ all you have to do?"

Poland cackled and spun around in the tiny dressing room. "Like putty in my hands! Haha!"

"Now I'm gonna have to try that with Gil!"

"It's, like, a win-win, sweetie," Poland winked. "He's happy and you get to go shopping!" Poland fixed Hungary's hair and straightened her black skirt. "By the way, how _did_ you get Gil to come out today?"

"I told him you wanted to meet at the mall," Hungary sniggered.

"You sly little witch!"

…

Prussia stared, agape, at Lithuania. "He does _that_?"

Lithuania blushed and tried not to smile. "He _really_ likes shopping. What did Liz do to get you to agree to come?"

"She said that you and Feliks wanted to meet us up here."

Lithuania laughed. "Gil, we came shopping yesterday. Feliks suggested the movies."

Prussia's eyes widened. "What? So… we're here because she tricked me?"

The dressing room door opened.

"How do we look, boys?"

"You sly little witch!" Prussia cried. Hungary blushed. "We could be at the movies right now!"

"So you… don't like it?"

Prussia caught sight of the sheer black top and the illegally short skirt and imagined what it would look like with black knee-high boots and fishnets. He blushed.

"Goddammit. Ring it up."

…

The next stop was, naturally, a shoe store. Hungary let Prussia pick out boots he thought would match the dress and made him sit down. Lithuania smiled knowingly and Prussia blushed.

"Liz!" Poland called from an aisle over. "Oh. My. God. Look at these effing shoes!"

Hungary ran to investigate and Lithuania and Prussia listened to them squeal.

"So how have you and Liz been?" Lithuania asked. Prussia laughed.

"Dude, she's a nightmare. Do you know she thinks my water gun is stupid?"

Lithuania rolled his eyes and laughed. "How are you supposed to protect your fortress without Gil Gun?"

"That's what _I_ said!"

Lithuania laughed. "You haven't changed a bit. That's so good to see."

Prussia punched him playfully in the arm. "I'm sure under all that domestic stuff you can still roll a few heads with the best of 'em."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Lithuania smiled sheepishly.

"You're right," Prussia shrugged. "Feliks probably has you so domesticated you can't even take a single round of _Street Fighter_."

Lithuania shot him a mischievous look. "You saw the arcade by the bra shop, did you?"

"First time I've ever been able to look away from a bra shop."

Lithuania laughed. "Loser buys ice cream?"

"Oh, you are so on," Prussia cackled. "Liz! Toris and I are going to the arcade! Call me when you're done, okay?"

"Leave your credit card," Hungary's voice called.

"You too, Liet!"

…

The four met up at the food court and Lithuania paid for everyone's ice cream after a (worryingly narrow) arcade defeat. They grabbed a table and sat down with their ice cream. Poland snuck a lick of Lithuania's cookie dough and smiled.

"That's, like, way better than rocky road!"

"Do you want to trade?" Lithuania offered.

"No," Poland said, taking another lick.

Prussia looked at Hungary's chocolate ice cream. He stuck out his tongue.

"Bitch, I will cut you," Hungary said shortly.

Poland and Lithuania laughed.

"It's, like, _so_ nice to see you guys," Poland said. "I feel like it's been forever!"

"Yeah," Prussia laughed. "Why don't we do this more often?"

"You know," Lithuania said. "Work and stuff. And we didn't really think you two would like coming out with us."

Hungary clutched her chest in shock. "What? We _love _you guys! Don't even start!"

"You guys are awesome," Prussia agreed.

Poland smiled and stood up. "Liet, Lizzy and I have to go to the bathroom. Hold our ice cream?"

Hungary and Poland ran off to the lady's room, giggling. Prussia didn't point out that Poland was a guy. He figured it was better not to ask.

…

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Poland threw his arms around Hungary's neck and squealed. "OMIGAWD, why didn't you _tell_ me that's why you wanted to catch up! I'm, like, _so_ happy for you two!"

Hungary laughed. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know how I didn't see it sooner," Poland babbled. "I mean, you're, like, totally glowing!"

Hungary's eye twitched and a red flag went up on her sensor. "What?"

"So how far along are you? What did Gil say when he found out? Omigawd, I need deets! Now!"

Fire flashed behind Hungary's eyes, but she remained deadly calm.

"Feliks… I'm not pregnant."

"Please," Poland said, rolling his eyes. "You're up a full dress size, you and Gil are getting along perfectly, you're eating chocolate ice cream and your hair has _never_ looked better!"

"What was that about my dress size?"

Poland patted Hungary's stomach fondly. "Oh, sweetie, don't get me wrong. You look amazing. You're gonna be so cute when you get bigger!"

Hungary's manner took on the warmth of military grade steel. "Ah. I just remembered. Gil and I have to run, we have plans."

Hungary stormed out of the bathroom and Poland followed, obliviously chattering.

When Prussia caught sight of his furious girlfriend, he panicked and stood up. "Liz? What-"

"Sorry we have to cut this short," Hungary said to Lithuania. "I forgot, we have plans."

Prussia looked like he wanted to say something, but he was too experienced with angry Hungary to be that stupid. He waved at Lithuania. "Call me, man."

"Sure thing," Lithuania said worriedly.

…

Hungary sobbed the entire car ride home, stopping only long enough to run into a drug store and buy a pregnancy test, which, understandably, freaked Prussia out. When they got home, Hungary locked herself in the bathroom for half an hour and Prussia pretended there was something good on TV.

Hungary finally came out and brandished the negative pregnancy test. "That _bitch!_" she snarled.

Prussia nearly cried from relief, but he hugged Hungary sympathetically. "Feliks doesn't know what he's talking about, baby. You're the sexiest woman in the world."

"Well, _obviously!_"

Prussia frowned suddenly. "So… they're not…"

"No," Hungary said angrily. "They're not our Double Couple. And we're not talking to them."

"But Tor-"

"Rules are rules, Gilbert!"

"…dammit."


	4. Spamano

**Y'all are a bunch 'o bona fide crack whores! Oy! No more requests! I beg you! If you wanna let me know who you want, go to my profile and vote in the poll. Just no more crack! Please!**

**(*REREADS*: You don't have to say it. I have let you down with this chapter. I'm so sorry. I'll try to make it up to you, I promise!)**

Prussia walked into the bedroom the next afternoon. Hungary was sitting up in her pajamas, watching a bad movie.

"Liz?" he ventured.

"This movie is terrible!" Hungary shouted. "It's making me angry just thinking about it!"

"You're not supposed to think about _Speed_, Liz. You're just supposed to enjoy the explosions."

Hungary 'hmph'd and sat back.

"Are you still upset about Feliks?"

"They were perfect!" Hungary cried. "We were having so much fun! Why'd he have to ruin it?"

"So call him and talk to him about it."

"You have no idea how girls work, do you?"

Prussia laughed and jumped on the bed, bouncing Hungary.

"WAH!" she yelped.

Prussia laughed and pinned her to the bed. He licked her cheek.

"EWW! Gil, ew, gross! Oh my God, get off me!"

"Cheer the fuck up, Princess!"

"You asshole!" she laughed. "Get off me!"

"Not until you promise to be in a good mood when Toni and Lovino get here!"

Hungary stopped struggling. "You already have another date?"

Prussia blew raspberries on Hungary's neck. "Promise!"

"Okay!" Hungary laughed. "Okay, I promise!"

…

"How do I look?" Hungary asked, twirling around.

Prussia appraised her flowing yellow skirt and her soft pink tank top. "Too many clothes," he said.

Hungary winked. "Does it help that I'm not wearing underwear?"

Prussia laughed and blushed. "A little, haha!"

Hungary squealed as Prussia tried to pull her into his lap.

"Gil, _stop_, haha! Stop, they'll be here any minute, you idiot!"

"Don't say stuff like that unless you're looking for an invasion!"

The doorbell rang and Hungary leapt up, blushing. "They're here! Quick, pretend you're cleaning or something!"

"They're not new," Prussia said. "They know I don't clean."

"Then… I'll pretend to clean and you go get them! That way we totally won't look desperate when they come in!"

"You're terrible at nonchalance," Prussia said. But he stood up and went to the door.

"Toni!" he cried when he saw his friend, grinning, on the porch. "Lovino, come in!"

"Gil!" Spain cried, arms full of paper grocery bags. "Long time no see! How's it going, buddy?"

"Can't complain! What's up, Lovino?"

Romano murmured into his grocery bags angrily. Spain laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Lovi, stop being so cute! Seriously!"

"Come on in guys! What's in the bags?"

Spain and Romano strode in. "We decided to surprise you and Liz!" Spain grinned. Hungary walked into the foyer, wiping imaginary dust off her hands.

"Surprise us? I thought we were going to dinner?"

Romano rolled his eyes. "You can't get quality food at any damn restaurants around here."

"We thought this might be more fun!"

Hungary's lips tightened. The point of going out to eat is not having to clean up after. Prussia grinned wide enough to compensate.

"That does sound fun! What's on the menu?"

"We thought we'd start with a simple tomato goat cheese bruschetta," Spain grinned.

"And then a potato primavera, because you bastards like potatoes, right?"

"And homemade seafood ravioli in a white pesto sauce!"

"And follow it up with tiramisu and a glass of Marsala."

Hungary swayed on her feet at the thought of so many dishes. Prussia threw his arm around her shoulder to steady her and he grinned.

"Wow, that sounds amazing! Would you mind teaching me a few things? Liz and West are always teasing me about how I can't cook anything."

Romano nodded curtly and went to the kitchen to set up. Spain elbowed Prussia happily.

"Just don't get in his way, eh, _amigo_? Lovi is so cute when he gets serious about cooking! He even broke my nose once!"

Spain followed Romano, leaving Prussia and Hungary in the foyer.

Hungary's eyes filled with tears. "G-Gil… the dishes!"

"I know, Liz."

"Th-the counters! The stove! The kitchen!"

Prussia pulled Hungary into a comforting hug. "We're gonna get through this. I promise."

"Why is this happening!"

…

Spain tossed a wooden spoon at Prussia's head. "Dude, catch!"

Prussia missed and it hit his ear. He laughed. "What am I doing with this?"

"Lovi's moving you to tiramisu duty."

"Was the bruschetta that bad?"

"It was an affront to God's very face," Romano called as he aired out the oven. Hungary frantically opened windows to let the smoke out and stared forlornly at the burnt pan.

"There's no way you can burn tiramisu," Spain grinned.

"What, is that a challenge?"

Spain and Prussia teased each other and laughed. Hungary turned nervously to Romano.

"So, um. How long have you been cooking?"

Romano glared at her. "Aren't we a little past small talk at this point?"

Hungary blushed. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a little nervous."

Romano sighed and stood up. "The tomato bastard says I have that effect on people."

Hungary blushed angrily and turned back to folding ravioli. She suddenly felt Romano's hands close around hers.

"It's like this," he murmured gently, showing her.

Hungary felt her face burn. She was going to explode from cute overload. That was going to be how she died, she just knew it. She decided to accept her fate and let Romano's blushing tsundereness move her hands. She bit her lip so she wouldn't squeal.

"I… I'm sorry," Romano said quietly. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"EEEEEEEEE!" Hungary shrieked. She wrapped her arms around Romano's neck and spun around. "Lovino, you are so _cute!_ I love you!"

"Sh-shut up! I'm not cute, bastard! _I'm not cute_!"

Prussia and Spain looked up and laughed.

"You are cute, Roma!" Spain called. "Embrace it!"

"FUCK YOU!"

Suddenly, the fire alarm went off. Everyone looked at the screeching ceiling, then again at the empty oven. They looked at each other in confusion. Slowly, their eyes came to rest on the tiramisu in front of Prussia.

Prussia looked down at the flames and swore. "_Sheisse_! How the fuck did it catch fire!"

"Put it out!" Hungary screamed over the fire alarm. Spain covered Romano protectively.

Prussia fanned the flames. "It's not working!" he yelled.

Hungary got the fire extinguisher from under the kitchen sink. "MOVE!" she yelled.

Within seconds, the table was covered in white and the tiramisu was nothing but a wet bowl of soggy pudding. Hungary glared at her boyfriend and he smiled sheepishly.

Spain and Romano looked around. "Oh, my," Spain said, appraising the mess. "Would you look at the time?"

"I think Francis is expecting us," Romano chipped in.

"Call me, Gil!"

Spain and Romano ran out of the messy kitchen like an Italian army on the retreat. The door slammed.

Prussia and Hungary stood in the kitchen. She glared at him.

"What?" Prussia said. "Don't look at me like that. Stop it. It's not like this is my fault."

Hungary sprayed his face with the fire extinguisher.


	5. SuFin

**You guys were right not to comment on the last chapter. I reread it this morning and the entire time I was thinking "What are you doing, Cro? You're better than this. You can write better Spamano in your sleep. There's no excuse for this."**

**So instead of finishing my presentation on Jiang Qing for Tuesday or obtaining a calculator so I can fail my math exam properly, I'm going to try to make it up to you today. Because I love you.**

**You also get to meet my headcannon. HC says that Finland doesn't like to swear. **

Hungary set Prussia cleaning every inch of the kitchen while she drove to the market to get new cookware and another fire extinguisher. She grumbled to herself as she went through the aisles. On top of the disaster area that was the kitchen, she still had to pick up dinner for the two of them because any surviving food had been rendered inedible by Hungary's own gratuitous (if spiteful) use of the fire extinguisher.

Needless to say, the double date hadn't gone very well.

As Hungary debated whether she should pay an extra two dollars for a "non-stick" baking sheet when Prussia was just going to find some other way to ruin it, she heard her name called.

"Elizaveta? Is that you?"

Hungary turned around to see Finland walking toward her. She tried to smile.

"Tino? Hey! Long time no see!"

Finland laughed and hugged her. "Wow, you look fantastic! How have you been?"

Hungary held up the fire extinguisher in her cart and rolled her eyes. "Little kitchen mishap. Could be better."

Finland kept a straight face, but Hungary knew he was laughing inside. "You let Gilbert cook again? When will you learn?"

Hungary cracked a smile and shrugged. "Wasn't up to me. We had Antonio and Lovino over and they thought it would be a good idea for everyone to cook together."

"Oh, that sounds like fun!"

"Not when your house is so messy after that you wonder if it might just be easier to buy a new house than try to clean it."

Finland laughed loudly. "Oh my! He really did a number this time, huh?"

Hungary smiled. "So how have you and Berwald been?"

"We've been wonderful, thanks! I mean, there was a little bump in the road with Peter…"

Hungary's face fell. "The adoption hasn't gone through? Are you serious?"

"Oh, it will," Finland smiled. "We just have to be patient for now."

Hungary touched his arm sympathetically. "If anyone in the world deserves that kid, it's you and Berwald. It'll work out."

"Thank you so much! Berwald's taking me to a hockey game tomorrow to cheer me up. He's around here somewhere…"

From literally nowhere, Sweden appeared by his "wife's" side. Hungary almost screamed in shock and Finland looked up, pleasantly surprised.

"Oh! Berwald! I ran into Elizaveta! We were just catching up."

Sweden nodded imperceptibly. "'Lo."

"H-hi, Berwald…"

"Gosh, Elizaveta," Finland smiled. "It's so nice seeing you! I feel like we haven't spoken in forever!"

"I know," Hungary said nervously, trying not to look at Sweden's scary face. "We should get together sometime."

At this Sweden touched Finland's elbow, shyly. Finland looked up and grinned. "What a great idea, Berwald! Elizaveta, you and Gilbert should come to the game with us! It'll be fun!"

Hungary stiffened at the thought of sitting next to Sweden for two hours in a cold room. "Oh, no, we wouldn't want to impose…"

"Nonsense! We love company! Come to our place tomorrow at four and we'll head out from there, okay?"

There simply wasn't a good excuse not to thank them politely and buy the damn non-stick baking sheet.

…

"Why are you doing this to me?" Prussia whined.

Hungary looked over his shoulder at the kitchen that was, if anything, messier. "Why didn't you clean the kitchen?"

"Don't change the subject! You know damn well Sweden's terrifying!"

"And you know damn well we can't live like this! Clean it up!"

"And you said yes without even asking me? What the hell?"

"Gilbert, this mess is entirely your fault and I'm not cleaning the kitchen again!"

"Would you _please_ pay attention to what _I'm_ fighting about?"

"Your thing's stupid, we're fighting about the kitchen right now!"

"GRAH!"

"GRAH!"

…

The next day, Hungary and Prussia steeled themselves in the car in Finland and Sweden's driveway.

Hungary clenched her fists. "Okay. How bad can he possibly be? I mean, Tino's the biggest sweetheart I know. He wouldn't be with Berwald if Berwald wasn't actually really sweet, right? I mean, how do we know? It's not like he talks all that often."

"If we die, I want my gravestone to say it was all your fault."

They got out of the car and walked up to the door. Before Hungary could knock, however, the door opened.

"GAH!" they yelped.

Iceland looked up at the two passively. "Problem?"

"What?" Hungary said. "No. Hey, Ice."

"Hey."

They stood awkwardly for a bit, looking at each other.

"So, uh," Prussia said. "What's new?"

"Nothing," Iceland said. "Just babysitting tonight."

"Oh," Hungary smiled. "Peter?"

"No. America. Duh."

"Emil?" Finland's voice called from within the house. "Who's at the door?"

"Girl scouts," Iceland deadpanned.

Finland came to the foyer. "Elizaveta, Gilbert! Come in! Goodness, you must be freezing! I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting!"

"Not a problem," Hungary said as Iceland left wordlessly. A rubber dart suddenly hit Prussia in the temple.

"Ah! What?"

There was a cackle as Sealand came out of the closet. "Haha! I got you!"

"Oh, I am so sorry," Finland apologized, picking Sealand up. "Peter, we don't shoot guests. Apologize to Gilbert."

"Jeez, Mama, it's not even a real gun."

Finland sighed. "How many times do I have to ask you not to call me 'Mama'?"

Sealand apologized curtly and jumped down from Finland's arms to find Iceland.

Finland sighed. "Really, what's wrong with 'Dad?' Am I really that feminine?"

Hungary laughed. "Of course not, Tino! He's just being silly! No one thinks you're feminine."

Sweden appeared from the ass of nowhere again to kiss Finland on the cheek. "R'dy, wife?"

"AUGH!"

Hungary turned to smack her boyfriend, but he'd fallen onto the floor, passed out.

She laughed nervously to Finland and Sweden. "Eh heh heh… B-blood sugar…"

…

The four countries stood together by the concession stand. Finland pressed a large hot chocolate into Prussia's hands, smiling.

"I don't want you to not be able to enjoy the match," Finland said. "Drink up, get that blood sugar excited!"

Sweden smiled in what must have been a fond manner, but to everyone but Finland it looked like he was contemplating murder.

Prussia thanked Finland nervously and drank.

They sat down in the stands. Finland took out his wallet and happily bragged over pictures of Sealand.

"Oh my gosh," Hungary gushed. "He's so cute!"

"I know!" Finland laughed. "Look at these cheeks! Can you believe he hates these pictures?"

Sweden looked over at Prussia sternly, turning red. He was probably just blushing, being a shy, awkward panda, but to Prussia, the glare meant his imminent demise. He bit his tongue to keep the unmanly squeak out of his throat.

The stands around them filled with people and Finland grinned happily.

"Oh! It looks like it's about to start!"

Hungary and Prussia smiled and watched the players filter onto the ice and start hitting the puck around.

Then something went terribly wrong.

Prussia and Hungary, knowing nothing about hockey, didn't know exactly what it was, but Finland suddenly shot out of his seat and screamed at the ice.

"Where the hell were you looking, jerkhole? The puck was two feet in front of you!"

Hungary and Prussia jumped, surprised. Sweden pulled Finland back down to his seat and they continued to watch.

"Wait," Finland said suddenly. "_What_? What the heck? Jesus tap-dancing Christ, what the H was that supposed to be? GET OFF THE ICE, MORON!"

Some guy sitting in front of them groaned.

"What's that?" Finland yelled. "You got something to say, tough guy?"

"T'no… It's alr'ght."

"No, it's not freaking 'alright,' Berwald! You saw that call! You don't freaking do that!"

Hungary and Prussia snuck a glance at the scoreboard. They were only 40 seconds in.

The crowd groaned. Finland stood up again, furious. "WHAT THE BALLS WAS THAT! KICK HIS FREAKING ASS! BEAT HIS FACE INTO THE ICE! Don't just- WHERE THE HOCKEY STICK WERE YOU LOOKING, MORON! THE PUCK'S OVER THERE!"

Sweden moved to pull Finland back down, but he was noticeably upset too.

"And no one's going to call that? _SERIOUSLY_? What the pudding are we watching, UN diplomatic policy? GET BACK UP, YOU WOMAN! THERE ISN'T EVEN ANY BLOOD!

"Buddy, shut up!" the man a few rows down said.

Finland took his own hot chocolate and threw it, with deadly accuracy, at the back of the guy's head.

"You don't even want to go there," Finland yelled.

"Oh, FUCK no!" the guy said, wiping hot chocolate off his head. He stood up and turned around. "Did you just throw that at my head?"

"What if I did?" Finland yelled. Hungary and Prussia edged away silently.

"I'll kick your punk ass!"

"COME AT ME, BRO!" Finland screamed. "I've destroyed people I like more for less! You can't even handle me right now!"

Prussia and Hungary watched, paralyzed by confusion, as the man leapt up the stands, kicking angry hockey fans out of his way. "I'll knock that fucking face off- OOF!"

Sweden's fist hit the man's face like a truck and he fell back onto a group of fans. They stood up angrily and shouted.

"The fuck you do that for?"

"Dude! You made me spill my tasty beverage!"

"I'll kick your fucking ass!"

Hungary and Prussia looked at each other.

"Taxi?"

"Taxi!"

"Tino!" Hungary called. "We gotta run! Call me!"

Odds were good that Finland didn't hear them as the entire crowd turned into a brawling mass of fists and lost teeth. His voice cut through clearly.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU! COME ON, IS THAT THE BEST YOU'VE GOT? LET'S GO, NANCY BOY!"

Prussia grabbed Hungary's wrist and they ran to the exit.

Once outside, they hailed a taxi frantically. They found one and slammed the doors shut, ordering the driver to "Drive, drive, _drive_!"

"Oh my God," Hungary panted. "I had it all wrong! I thought Berwald was secretly sweet! I didn't know Tino was secretly scary!"

"What the fuck is wrong with hockey fans?" Prussia panted. "If you're gonna duke it out, give some _warning_, Jesus Christ!"


	6. DenNor

**Guys. Guys. **_**Guys**_**. I totaled my car, guys. I ass-rammed someone at a red light on a wet road on my way back to the university after Thanksgiving. So I'm using that as justification for hooky and I'm writing you a chapter instead of going to math class. Don't say anything, it makes sense in my head.**

**Also I need to delete my tumblr. That shit will NOT let me be productive!**

**Also. Never eat in Denmark. Holy shit that stuff looks disgusting. I did minimal research for you so you don't have to. The only thing you need to know is contrary to Danish belief and my own former culinary ideas, NO amount of bacon will ever be able to make leverpostejmad edible in any way. It's bacon's kryptonite.**

Prussia and Hungary panted in the back seat of the taxi for two minutes before they realized they weren't moving. Prussia turned to the driver in alarm.

"Dude? There's homicidal hockey fans. We need to get out of here!"

A familiar blonde head turned around and smirked. "Don't tell me the awesome Prussia is afraid of a little brawl."

Hungary stared, dumbfounded, at Denmark. "Mathias? What are you doing here? Why are you driving a cab?"

Denmark's eyes glinted. "I follow Sve sometimes. Why?"

"In a cab?" Prussia asked.

"It's a good disguise. Why are you having trouble with this?"

Hungary chuckled lightly. "You still don't trust him at all do you?"

"Not even a little," Denmark winked. "You guys need to go back to Tino's house to pick up your car, right?"

"Yeah," Prussia said, relieved. "You mind?"

"Not at all! The match won't be over for another two and a half hours, so I don't mind! And I'm not even a real cab driver, so I won't charge you!"

Denmark laughed and pulled out of the parking lot and Hungary and Prussia smiled.

They drove in silence for a while.

Suddenly, Denmark spoke.

"I know what you guys are doing, by the way." He glanced up at them through the rearview mirror.

Hungary blushed. "Doing? Doing what?"

Denmark chuckled. "Come on. No one goes out with Sve and Tino to a _hockey game_ unless they're pretty desperate. And people have been talking about the disaster dates. By the way, Liz, I don't even know what Feliks is talking about. You look great."

Hungary's eyes widened. "Everyone's talking about it? _Disaster_ dates?"

Prussia smacked his forehead. "Are you serious? Everyone knows?"

"What?" Denmark said. "No. No one knows. I'm just the only one smart enough to put the pieces together! You're trying to find your One True Couple!"

Hungary covered her face. "I can never be seen in public again. Everyone's gonna know how pathetic we are."

"And we're going with 'Double Couple,'" Prussia corrected.

"I see," Denmark smiled. "And you're not pathetic. It's actually really cool that you're doing this now."

"Now?" Hungary asked.

Denmark pulled into Finland and Sweden's driveway and parked. He turned around. "How about this. You two come on a date with me and Norge. He's been dropping hints that he wants to go out more."

"Hints?" Prussia asked.

"Oh, you know. Making Mr Troll punch me in the stomach, strangling me, dumping coffee on my head in the morning. Pretty obvious."

Hungary and Prussia looked at each other nervously. "That means he wants to go on a double date with us?" Hungary asked.

"I read between the lines," Denmark chuckled. "So call me, alright? We'll set something fun up!"

Hungary and Prussia thanked him and got out of the car. As Denmark drove away, they looked at each other.

"What do you think?" Hungary said.

"I think bullshit. We're awesome at dating. Everyone else sucks."

Hungary flicked Prussia in the forehead. "Pretty sure that's the kind of attitude that got us in this mess in the first place."

Prussia rolled his eyes and unlocked the car. "Fine. We'll call Mathias in the morning and take him and Lukas out to dinner or something. Do you think anyone else knows?"

As Hungary opened her mouth to answer, there was a scream from the bushes at the front of Iceland's house.

"ATTACK!"

Hungary and Prussia yelped as the front of the car filled with rubber darts and Sealand and Ladonia leapt out of the bushes, plastic guns blazing. As they laughed, Iceland casually stood up from behind the bushes and shot a rubber dart at both Hungary and Prussia's foreheads.

With a roar, Prussia tackled the squealing kids to the ground. "What the hell was that for?" he yelled. Sealand cackled, delighted, but Ladonia jumped on Prussia's back.

"I've defeated you! Now you have to give me all your land! Give me your land!"

Iceland snickered and Hungary covered a smile.

"_Awkwaaard,_" she said. Prussia flipped her off.

"Where did you even learn to talk like that?" Prussia said.

Ladonia tried to put Prussia in a sloppy headlock. "You learn lots of things on the internet."

Sealand laughed. "Oh yeah! Did you know people have reported honey badgers ripping off lion testicles in self-defense? It's true!"

Prussia and Iceland winced.

"The honey badger has nothing on me," Ladonia growled, tightening his grip on Prussia.

Prussia pulled him off easily. "Alright, you little brat. Where do you get off acting like such a tough guy, huh?"

"Because that's something new to you," Hungary said, pulling Sealand into her lap.

"No one asked you, Liz!"

Ladonia scowled. "I am Ladonia! The proud! The free! The interactive! Who the hell are you?"

Prussia laughed and pinched Ladonia's cheek. "What did you do to your face?"

"This?" Ladonia said, pointing to the red mark on his cheek. "This was a scar I received whilst battling my deadliest foe to date. The infamous and oppressive Sweden! After years of war between our two nations, I finally defeated him and declared independence!"

Iceland smirked. "He gave Sve a script and hit him hit a wooden sword."

"Papa fought valiantly," Sealand said. "But in the end, the only marks he made on Ladonia are the scar on his face and the pride in his heart. Forever free, right, brother?"

Prussia rubbed Ladonia's cheek. "It's paint," he said.

"AUGH! Don't rub it off, asshole!"

…

"I see!" Denmark laughed. "And then what happened?"

Hungary smiled at Norway and Denmark across the table and slung her arm around Prussia. "And then Genius here decided to declare war on Ladonia and Sealand. They ran around the yard for an hour until the kids almost passed out on Ice."

"They fought valiantly," Prussia smirked. "But in the end, they simply couldn't handle my awesome!"

Denmark and Hungary laughed while Norway smiled quietly to himself. An Italian waiter came to the table and took everyone's orders.

When he'd left, Norway sipped his coffee. "Sounds as if you'd make a good father after all, Gil."

Prussia and Hungary blushed. "Not at all," Hungary said. "This idiot can't even keep a cactus alive for more than a week!"

"The instructions were in Japanese!" Prussia protested. "When will you let that go!"

Denmark laughed and Norway rolled his eyes.

"Nah," Prussia smiled. "I'd be an awful dad. I don't like things that get all sticky for no reason."

Norway smirked. "I'll take "That's What She Said" for 500."

Hungary let out a loud burst of laughter and slapped her hand over her mouth, mortified. The well-dressed patrons glared over their wine at the group.

Prussia winked and nudged his girlfriend. "Jeez, Liz, keep it down. Some of us are trying to enjoy a meal here."

"Honestly, Elizabeta," Norway said. "You're disturbing people."

Hungary and Prussia grinned at Norway. He shrugged.

"Mathias has been very interested in children lately as well. I hope for everyone's sake it's a platonic interest."

Denmark laughed. "So many kids running around these days! It's so cute!"

"Saying things like that might give people the wrong idea," Norway said.

"I see!"

Norway sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's a good thing you don't have kids."

"Eh?" Denmark said. "Just me?"

"Just you. If you had kids I'd leave you."

Denmark grinned. "I see!" he said. "You're just sore because you know you'd be the moth-GACK!"

Denmark choked as Norway strangled him with his tie. "Stop saying such weird things," Norway said coolly.

Hungary and Prussia looked at each other nervously, unsure whether that kind of public domestic violence was something they should step in and stop.

Norway released Denmark's tie and Denmark gasped.

"Wow, you're _really _easily embarrassed today, Norge! Maybe you do want kids after all?"

"Don't be an idiot," Norway said. "I'm not easily embarrassed and I don't want kids."

The waiter came back with four plates of pasta and left cheerfully. Hungary and Prussia nervously tried to change the subject.

"Haha," Hungary said. "Ever wonder why nearly everything in Italian restaurants is some form of pasta?"

Prussia nodded. "It's like, what else do Italians eat, right?"

Norway smiled. "It's nice to go out. Mathias just can't cook at all."

"I can so! You said you liked my Stjerneskud!"

"I lied to you. I do that a lot."

"I see!" Denmark said. "I'll just have to try harder!"

Hungary and Prussia turned to each other and shared a strained grin. So this was a double date without disaster. It seemed very… tame. Norway and Denmark were fun to be around and all, but a Double Couple is supposed to be special. Where was the electric spark? Where was the lump in their guts? Where was the excitement?

Hungary shrugged in a, "maybe it's time we settled down" way.

Prussia tried not to sigh.

"Liz, Gil!" Denmark said suddenly. "We should have you over sometime! I'll be sure to cook something amazing!"

Norway shook his head. "Don't worry. He always says that before we have guests, but I would never let him actually cook for you."

"That's so thoughtful," Hungary said, forcing a chuckle. "Let us have you over as soon as our house stops smelling like smoke. I'll be sure to keep Gilbert out of the kitchen"

The two couples smiled genially at each other. But just as Denmark opened his mouth to respond, the restaurant echoed with a familiar and joyful cry.

"PASTAA!"

Hungary and Prussia's eyes widened. Prussia laughed and looked around. "Feli and West must be here! Small world!"

And then, as if by magic, Italy appeared at the table.

"Gilbert! Lizzie! Lukas! Mathias! How are you?"

Hungary stood up and hugged Italy, laughing. "Feli! Wow, imagine running into you here! What a coincidence!"

Germany came up behind Italy. Prussia stood up and clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Hey, West! What are you doing here?"

Germany cleared his throat. "Feliciano didn't feel like cooking and he doesn't let me in the kitchen anymore. What are you doing here?"

Prussia and Hungary suddenly felt terrified that Italy and Germany would find out they were on a date. They blushed.

"Um," Hungary said.

"Uh," Prussia added.

"Just discussing work," Norway said.

Prussia and Hungary looked at Norway in shock. Denmark looked at Norway, confused, but Norway jabbed him in the side with his fork to shut him up. Norway shrugged coolly.

"Elizaveta had an idea for a more efficient distribution of electrical control equipment in Eastern Europe. We thought we'd talk about it over dinner."

Hungary's jaw dropped and Prussia tapped her chin back up.

"Oh," Germany said, pleasantly surprised. "You always work so hard, Elizaveta. I wonder how you concentrate with my idiot bruder always distracting you."

"Hey!" Prussia smirked. "Don't act all high and mighty, West. I can work just as hard!"

"You have no idea what they're even talking about, do you?"

Prussia looked at Norway, who smiled. "Oh, Gilbert's had some fine ideas. They mostly involve conquering Austria, though, so we just gave him some string to play with."

Italy laughed. "It sounds like you're having fun! That's so nice to hear, ve!"

"We won't keep you any longer," Germany said. "It was good to see you, Lukas, Mathias. Elizaveta, if you hammer out your plan into something feasible, be sure to bring it up at the next meeting."

"Bye bye!" Italy grinned. The couple turned and walked away.

Prussia and Hungary looked at each other desperately.

"Go," Norway said. "Run to them."

Hungary gulped. "Are you sure, Lukas?"

Norway nodded.

Denmark cocked his head. "Wait, what happened?"

"Be sure to call us for a beer," Norway said.

"You know it," Prussia laughed. "We'll see you guys around!"

"Thanks so much," Hungary grinned, grabbing her purse. Prussia put a few sizeable bills on the table and the couple ran off to find Italy and Germany.

Denmark looked at Norway. "I'm confused."

"You're confused by numbers bigger than five," Norway said. "You shouldn't be surprised by that."

**I have no idea what Norway told Germany. I pretty much just slapped a bunch of big words in a sentence and hoped they made sense.**

**By the way, sorry for being gone so long!**


	7. Gerita 1

**Was is Das? An… an **_**update**_**? No, couldn't be. Crocious doesn't do things like update her stories. It has to be something else. Like an illusion or a block of cheese. This is a block of cheese.**

**This apologetic block of cheese is brought to you by Nutella and Hot Pockets.**

Hungary and Prussia left the Nordic couple and ran to catch up with Germany and Italy before they left the restaurant.

"West!" Prussia called. "Wait up!"

Germany turned around at the door, surprised. "Gilbert, Elizaveta. Is everything alright?"

"Everything's perfect," Hungary grinned. "We just wanted to see if you have plans."

Italy and Germany looked at each other. "Plans?" Italy asked.

"Yeah," Prussia said. "Are you guys going out anywhere tonight?"

"On a Thursday?" Germany said.

Prussia and Hungary laughed.

"You guys were just going to waste a perfectly good evening like this because it's Thursday?" Prussia asked.

"That's racist against days of the week!" Hungary said.

Italy gave a fluttery little giggle and Germany huffed.

"What exactly do you expect us to do with a Thursday evening?" he said.

"Oh, Ludwig," Hungary said. "We are so glad you asked."

…

"Will someone please remind me why we're doing this?" Germany asked as Italy happily buckled his vest for him.

"To see who has to buy the first round of beer," Prussia said matter-of-factly as he cleaned his plastic gun.

Germany frowned. "And beer on a Thursday evening because..?"

"For fun, ve!" Italy smiled.

Hungary winked and nudged Italy with her laser gun. "Yup! Nothing like a game of Laser Tag and a few beers to get your Fun glands pumping!"

"War is not fun," Germany said sternly as the four of them walked into the blacklit room. "War is serious. Why is there even a game like this?"

"You're right, West," Prussia said, shooting his brother in the back. "This isn't fun at all."

Germany stared, dumfounded, at the dead lights in his vest. "I'm already out?"

"YAHH!" Italy shouted gleefully, shooting his plastic gun in every direction. "HOLD ON, DOITSU! STAY WITH ME! I'LL GET YOU OF HERE, VE!"

Prussia and Hungary laughed as ill-fitting music filtered through the speakers in the obstacle course. Suddenly, Hungary's vest blinked out. Italy stopped shooting.

"L-Lizzy? Lizzy! No! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!"

Hungary fell to her knees and coughed. Prussia caught her.

"Liz?" he said. "Liz, no, stay with me! Stay with me, Liz!"

Hungary smiled. "So… cold… _blargh._" She closed her eyes.

Prussia hung his head to cover his smile and Italy wiped his eyes.

"Vengeance," Prussia said. He pointed his gun at Italy and shot him in the chest.

Italy looked forlornly at the dead lights just as Prussia's own lights went out. Germany lowered his gun.

"Don't shoot Feliciano," he said.

Everyone smiled at each other. Then, suddenly, simultaneously, their eyes flashed with thirst for battle.

"Thirty seconds," Germany said coolly, barely hiding a smile.

"Run," Prussia smirked.

"Hide," Hungary said.

"Prepare yourselves," Italy grinned.

"Aaaaand… Go!"

The four adults dashed into the maze with Germany counting fifteen seconds precisely. He went silent so as not to give away his position and Prussia and Hungary ran for cover.

"Time," Prussia said, taking Hungary's hand.

"Seven seconds," she whispered. "Offensive or defensive positions?"

Prussia quirked an eyebrow at her. "Did you really just ask me that?"

"Damn it, Gilbert!" Hungary whisper-yelled. "You can't invade the whole world!"

"I can sure as hell try!" Prussia said. "Now are you with me or not?"

"You don't have to prove anything!"

"Keep it together, Liz! We're gonna get through this! We're gonna get through this together and then we're gonna get drunk! Just like we always planned!"

The air suddenly filled with the cartoonish "_pew pew_" of laser tag guns. Hungary and Prussia yelped and rolled behind a wall.

"Ve!" Italy's voice called. "Did I get you?"

Prussia and Hungary looked at their flashing vests.

"Nah, we're good," Prussia called back.

Germany stepped out from the wall behind Prussia and Hungary and shot them, casually, in the chests. They swore and ran to find cover before the lights started back up again.

"Feliciano," they heard Germany say. "Take your time and aim, especially if they're just sitting out in the open like that."

"Sorry, Doitsu!"

"It's okay, just try to remember next time."

Prussia and Hungary panted behind their wall. "Damn it," Hungary swore. "Why do I keep forgetting you never watch your flank?"

"Don't beat yourself up about it," Prussia said.

Hungary elbowed him. "What's the plan, Mr Empire?"

"Victory." Prussia said simply.

Hungary looked at him for a minute. "Really? That's the plan?"

"Duh."

Hungary rolled her eye and reached into her pocket. Carefully, she raised her makeup mirror up to the hole in the wall.

"What are you doing?" Prussia whispered.

"Shh."

Suddenly, Italy giggled excitedly. "Doitsu!" he whispered. "I've got something!"

"Take your time. Aim."

Hungary wiggled the mirror lightly and heard the cartoon "_pew_."

Italy shouted in surprise. "Ludwig! I'm down! What happened?"

Germany's voice groaned. "Did you shoot a mirror?"

"Yes, Lizzy's little makeup mirror!"

"That's a dirty trick Elizaveta!"

Hungary popped her face through the hole. "All's fair in Love and War, sweetheart!"

Germany's gun flashed as he aimed his gun at the wall and Prussia shot it quickly.

"Protect your gun, Bruder!"

Germany's lights went out and he swore. The music stopped very suddenly and the bright lights came on in the room. The shooters looked around.

"Aw, already?" Prussia whined. "But we were just getting started!"

The teenager that worked the counter opened the door. "Alright, it's been ten minutes. Time to go."

No one came out of their hiding spots.

"Can we go another round?" Hungary called.

The confused teenager looked around. "Where are you?"

"Just one more," Italy called. "We don't know who wins yet, ve!"

"We're not really supposed to…"

"Come on," Germany said. "There are probably people waiting." But he still refused to stand up and reveal himself.

The teenager looked from the arcade to the obstacle course. "Well, not really. It's Thursday."

Prussia grinned. "So there's no one here?"

"Just me and my supervisor."

"Kid, I will give you $50 if you keep this room going for an hour."

The teenager gave one last look behind him and sighed.

"Just don't tell my manager."

The door closed, the room went dark and the battle began.

…

An hour later, Prussia, Hungary, Germany and Italy came out of the obstacle course breathless and laughing.

"Lizzy, where'd you learn to throw your voice like that, ve!"

Hungary laughed and linked arms with Italy. "You want me to teach you? It's really handy when you're trapped in a corner!"

"I'll say!"

They walked ahead and Prussia and Germany paid the pimply teenager with the nose ring.

"Dude," Prussia said. "You're still not over that whole caution thing?"

"Why do you say that? My caution always beats your balls-to-the-wall military tactics."

Prussia rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Where are Liz and I buying you beer?"

Germany looked at his watch. "It's ten o'clock, Gilbert. And some of us have work in the morning. We'll take that drink some other time, ja?"

"Tomorrow night? You can't possibly have something against drinking on a Friday night."

"Sounds good," Germany said as they caught up with Hungary and Italy by the cars. "Nine o'clock?"

"Can't wait!" Hungary said. She and Italy kissed each other on the cheek lightly and Prussia and Germany clapped each other on the back and climbed into their cars.

After Hungary shut her door, she and Prussia looked at each other in disbelief.

"Are they..?" Prussia said.

"Don't jinx it!" Hungary said nervously. "For the love of God, don't jinx this!"

"Okay," Prussia said. "I won't say anything. But can we dance our victory dance?"

"Only if it's for an entirely unrelated reason."

"Very well. Our hair looks awesome today."

Hungary laughed and whooped. She and Prussia danced spastically in their car seats and sang tunelessly.

They heard a honk and jumped, freezing. Germany and Italy were smiling at them from their car. Germany motioned for Prussia to roll down his window. Blushing, he did.

"You alright?" Italy asked.

Hungary colored and bit her finger. "There… there was a bee in the car."

"It's January," Germany smirked.

"Your mom's January!" Prussia retorted.

Germany chuckled. "Just wanted to check which bar we're going to meet you at tomorrow. Didn't mean to interrupt."

"Mind if we pick you up?" Hungary said. "Then we only need one designated driver."

"Perfect!" Italy said. "See you tomorrow!"

Germany drove off and Hungary and Prussia looked at each other.

"I-"

"I'm serious, Gil. Don't you dare jinx us."

**Easter egg! Easter egg!**

**I know y'all have been waiting a long time for this chapter. Thank you for your patience and for the love!**


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